Random thoughts from the Fuller house

Paulinawesballet2010.MPG

2010-07-02T00:45:00.000-05:00

Wescloggingsiberia2010.MPG

2010-07-02T00:44:00.000-05:00

Paulinahiphop2010.MPG

2010-07-02T00:42:00.000-05:00

Wesshicouplesdance2010.MPG

2010-07-02T00:41:00.000-05:00

Paulinasolo2010-2.MPG

2010-07-02T00:40:00.000-05:00

Paulinawestap2010

2010-07-02T00:39:00.000-05:00

Paulina's solo

2010-07-02T00:31:00.001-05:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7WxEKdtrc3w

Today is a special day in our family.

2010-05-18T06:50:00.000-05:00

17 years ago today, after a long labor, I gave birth to my first Child. Shiloh has been a joy (mostly, LOL, Love you kid) ever since.
16 years ago today we celebrated Shiloh's birthday and he wore a sweater over his t-shirt. When my sister in law unzipped the sweatshirt, he was wearing a shirt that said "Big Brother". This was our way of announcing Wesley, who would be born some seven months later to be an incredible blessing to our family.
10 Years ago today, I missed Shiloh's seventh birthday, because I was in Vladimir Russia. That day I met the most amazing nine month old little girl and chose her to become my daughter. What a wonderful decision that turned out to be!
Also on that day, un beknownst to me at the time, not too far from Russia in the town of Lodz Poland a little boy was being born who would change my life when he became our youngest son. What an amazing little guy he is.

So today I thank God for my children.
Happy 17th Birthday Shiloh, where has the time gone? You are almost a man and I am so proud of the person you have become.
Happy Anniversary Paulina, I am so glad I met you and took you home. There is nothing like having a daughter.
Happy 10th birthday my Marvolous Marceli. You are an amazing person. I am so very proud of you and I am so very Glad God allowed me to be your mother. I love you very much.

Thank you God for giving me my wonderful children.

Prom

2010-04-12T10:58:00.004-05:00

Prom was last night and since we can't find our good camera, my brother in law MJ was good enough to step in and take some pictures.

Park 2

2010-03-22T18:51:00.002-05:00

Here are a few more pics from the park.

Day at the park

2010-03-22T18:36:00.005-05:00

Today was such a lovely day that I decided to surprise the kids with an after school trip to the park.

Sad houses

2010-03-18T14:34:00.002-05:00

I saw this house today while running errends. I call houses like this sad houses. My husband laughs at me. This particular sad house, has obviuosly seen better days. Any hint of paint it had s long gone. The wood gray with age and weather. It once had a big wrap around porch, but now it's collapsed. In fact one whole corner of the house has collapsed and it's only a matter of time before the rest comes down too. The roof has holes so I am sure the weather has damaged the inside too.

The thing is when I look at that house, I don't see the weatherbeaten, collapsing house that sits in that spot now. I see it as it once was.

You see, my imagination is active. It provides me with pictures and sometimes even little videos in my head. (Yes, this probably means I am crazy!)
In front of this house, I saw a couple standing with thier arms around each other looking at the house when it was brand new, pride and excitement beaming in thier faces.
I see the man painting the house and making repairs and the woman sweeping the porch and keeping the house clean.

Then I saw a family gathering, the porch filled with people sitting and drinking lemonade while children chased each other around the house.

I saw the front door bang open and a young boy come running out, fishing pole in hand. The boy in such a hurry that his feet never even touched the steps, he just flew over them on his way to seek adventure.

I saw an old pick up truck pull up, and a young man in an army uniform climb out of the back, carrying a duffle bag. He gives a wave to the old man in the truck and begins to walk towards the house. Once again I see the door bang open and a figure come flying off the porch, but this time it's a middle age woman. Only the dishtowel dropped un-noticed from her hands touches the steps as she runs to her son and wraps him in her arms.

I wonder things about this house. Surely it was once some families pride and joy. Where are they? Who were they? Somewhere I imagine is a woman who learned to bake cookies at her grandmothers side in that house. Does she know it's falling down? Does she care?

I think about my own house. I love my house. We have put a new roof on it and recently put new siding on it. However, someday it will still probably fall apart. Will my children care? It occured to me that the house is temporary. It's not going to last. That woman may not know or care what has happened to her grandmothers house, but that's because the house was not what was important. I am sure she does remember the smell of cookies, the feel of her grandmothers arms around her, the love she felt. I imagine that the love she got from her grandmother in that house, she passed on to her own children and grandchildren and they will pass it on to thiers. I beleive that she will see her grandmother again one day. She won't be living in that wood house though, but a mansion. I doubt she will remember or care about the house her grandmother spent polishing the floors. All that time spent dusting seems a waste now that house is turning to dust. However, those minutes spent rocking a child, loving on a child. . . those are still paying dividends.
I pray that someday when this house of mine is dust, the legacy I leave behind is more than just a falling down house that was once beautiful, but a love that was beautiful. The people who come in this house, family and guests alike are much more important than the house itself. If they are not then this house is no better than the house I saw today. I wish the pictures were better, they were taking from my car with my phone. One day I will have to find my way back there to take a better picture for you guys.
Lorraine

Catching up

2010-03-16T07:45:00.002-05:00

OK so a friend e-mailed me and pointed out that my blog is seriously out of date.
So first off, Shiloh on his first day driving got a ticket. He lost his truck for a few days and has been very careful ever since.
Summer was good, the little ones went to Lions camp and Out on a Limb camp at Peaceable Kingdom. Bob and the boys and a few of thier friends took a short trip to have some guy fun.
Fall was all about band. Shiloh was drum major. Our band came in first at area and region and went all the way to State where we came in second. It was exciting and we were very proud of them for all thier hard work. Wesley played bass Clarinet.
Christmas was quiet and nice. Now we are back in spring. Paulina started pointe with special legs, so hopefully soon we will have videos of that. Marceli is doing very well. Anyway, that's our update!
Oh wait, Angie and her girls moved back to Clifton and Angie is engaged to a very nice man.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxUKUETKjMw
Our band

Wes Clogging

2009-06-01T14:25:00.002-05:00

Paulina's second solo

2009-06-01T11:22:00.003-05:00

This is the same dance as the preview, but this is the real thing.

Girls just want to have fun

2009-05-27T20:48:00.002-05:00

This was one of Paulina's solos.

Boys dance

2009-05-27T19:09:00.004-05:00

Wesley has been the only boy in our dance studio for a few years now. This year he talked his best friend and brother and another boy into dancing with him. Most of the girls had no clue and were totally surprised! They did pretty good considering that three of the boys have never danced and they only started a month ago and I don't know that they had more than a couple of practices with all of them there.

Dance recital

2009-05-27T17:49:00.003-05:00

Been trying all day to get a video to upload! This one is Paulina's hip hop group. Hope it works! If it does I will try a few more.

Sneak preview of Paulinas dance

2009-05-21T20:35:00.004-05:00

Here is a sneak preview of one of Paulina's dances she will do Saturday night at recital (she has 8 dances) In this one, the stage will be decorated with moons and stars, the wedge you see will be decorated to look like a mirror, the dance teacher hiding behind it will be better hidden with curtains (she was trying to watch since this was a class) The little bitty girl you see will be wearing a baby blue dance costume and angel wings and a halo. She will also be more of a ham with an audience. So enjoy this preview. (scroll down and find the music player on the right and pause the music so you can hear her dance music)

Shiloh's big news!

2009-05-20T22:17:00.002-05:00

First, today Shiloh got his drivers liscense! Then after school he tried out for Drum major and got it! He is so excited! He has been practicing for weeks. This school went to state two years ago and were voted fourth in the state. Next year is a state year again. He is very excited and very proud of himself! We are also very proud of him!

Marceli Birthday party pictures

2009-05-18T08:08:00.003-05:00

Some pictures from Marceli's party

Special day

2009-05-18T07:45:00.004-05:00

16 years ago today, I gave birth to my first son. One year later at his birthday party, my sister in law finally asked if she could remove the birthday boys zipped up jacket. I told her to go ahead and removing his jacket revealed he was wearing a shirt that said "Big Brother". This was our announcement that son number two was coming. On my first son's 7th birthday, I was in Russia visiting orphans, and that day I chose one to be our daughter. Little did I know but that very same day, while I was in Russia choosing my princess, my youngest son was being born in Poland. So today I celebrate my four blessings, but especially my youngest and my oldest! Happy Birthday boys!
The pictures are Shiloh on his ninth birthday and The first picture we ever saw of Marceli. The other pictures are of Marceli's party on Saturday. (Shiloh's is next week)

Fun stuff about Texas

2009-05-13T13:44:00.001-05:00

Our Beloved Texas...

This is a must read for all Texans, used-to-be Texans, adopted Texans
or wanna-be Texans.

JUST TEXAS

Pep, Texas 79353
Smiley, Texas 78159
Paradise, Texas 76073
Rainbow, Texas 76077
Sweet Home, Texas 77987
Comfort, Texas 78013
Friendship, Texas 76530

Love the Sun?
Sun City, Texas 78628
Sunrise, Texas 76661
Sunset, Texas 76270
Sundown, Texas 79372
Sunray, Texas 79086
Sunny Side , Texas 77423
Want something to eat?
Bacon, Texas 76301
Noodle, Texas 79536
Oatmeal, Texas 78605
Turkey, Texas 79261
Trout, Texas 75789
Sugar Land, Texas 77479
Salty, Texas 76567
Rice, Texas 75155
Pearland, Texas 77581
Orange, Texas 77630

And top it off with:
Sweetwater, Texas 79556
Why travel to other cities? Texas has them all!
Detroit, Texas 75436
Cleveland, Texas 75436
Colorado City, Texas 79512
Denver City, Texas 79323
Klondike, Texas 75448
Nevada, Texas 75173
Memphis, Texas 79245
Miami, Texas 79059
Boston, Texas 75570
Santa Fe, Texas 77517
Tennessee Colony , Texas 75861
Reno, Texas 75462
Pasadena, Texas 77506
Columbus, Texas 78934
Feel like traveling outside the country? Don't bother buying a plane ticket!
Athens, Texas 75751
Canadian, Texas 79014
China, Texas 77613
Egypt, Texas 77436
Ireland, Texas 76538
Italy, Texas 76538
Turkey, Texas 79261
London, Texas 76854
New London, Texas 75682
Paris, Texas 75460
Palestine, Texas 75801

No need to travel to Washington D.C.
Whitehouse, Texas 75791

We even have a city named after our planet!
Earth, Texas 79031

And a city named after our State!
Texas City, Texas 77590

Exhausted?
Energy, Texas 76452

Cold?
Blanket, Texas 76432
Winters, Texas

Like to read about History?
Santa Anna, Texas
Goliad, Texas
Alamo, Texas
Gun Barrel City, Texas
Robert Lee, Texas

Need Office Supplies?
Staples, Texas 78670

Want to go into outer space?
Venus, Texas 76084
Mars, Texas 79062

You guessed it. It's on the state line.
Texline, Texas 79087

For the kids...
Kermit, Texas 79745
Elmo, Texas 75118
Nemo, Texas 76070
Tarzan, Texas 79783
Winnie, Texas 77665
Sylvester, Texas 79560

Other city names in Texas , to make you smile......
Frognot, Texas 75424
Bigfoot, Texas 78005
Hogeye, Texas 75423
Cactus, Texas 79013
Notrees, Texas 79759
Best, Texas 76932
Veribest, Texas 76886
Kickapoo, Texas 75763
Dime Box , Texas 77853
Old Dime Box , Texas 77853
Telephone, Texas 75488
Telegraph, Texas 76883
Whiteface, Texas 79379
Twitty, Texas 79079

And last but not least, the Anti-Al Gore City...
Kilgore, Texas 75662

And our favorites...
Cut n Shoot, Texas
Gun Barrell City, Texas
Hoop And Holler, Texas
Ding Dong, Texas and, of course,
Muleshoe, Texas
Here is what Jeff Foxworthy has to say about folks from Texas ...

If someone in a Lowe's store offers you assistance and they don't work
there, you may live in Texas ;

If you've worn shorts and a parka at the same time, you may live in
Texas ;

If you've had a lengthy telephone conversation with someone who dialed
a wrong number, you may live in Texas;

If 'Vacation' means going anywhere south of Dallas for the weekend, you
may live in Texas ;

If you measure distance in hours, you may live in Texas;

If you know several people who have hit a deer more than once, you may
live in Texas ;

If you install security lights on your house and garage, but leave both
unlocked, you may live in Texas;

If you carry jumper cables in your car and your wife knows how to use
them, you may live in Texas ;

If the speed limit on the highway is 55 mph --you're going 80 and
everybody's passing you, you may live in Texas ;

If you find 60 degrees 'a little chilly,' you may live in Texas ;
If you actually understand these jokes, and share them with all your
Texas friends, you definitely live in Texas ..

Here are some little known, very interesting facts about Texas .

1. Beaumont to El Paso : 742 miles

2.. Beaumont to Chicago : 770 miles

3... El Paso is closer to California than to Dallas

4. World's first rodeo was in Pecos, July 4, 1883.

5. The Flagship Hotel in Galveston is the only hotel in North America
built over water.

6. The Heisman Trophy was named after John William Heisman who was
the first full-time coach at Rice University in Houston .

7. Brazoria County has more species of birds than any other area in
North America

8. Aransas Wildlife Refuge is the winter home of North America's only
remaining flock of whooping cranes.

9. Jalapeno jelly originated in Lake Jackson in 1978.

10. The worst natural disaster in U.S. history was in 1900, caused by
a hurricane, in which over 8,000 lives were lost on Galveston Island .

11. The first word spoken from the moon, July 20,1969, was "Houston,"
but the space center was actually in Clear Lake City at the time.

12. King Ranch in South Texas is larger than Rhode Island ..

13. Tropical Storm Claudette brought a U.S. rainfall record of 43' in
24 hours in and around Alvin in July of 1979...

14. Texas is the only state to enter the U.S. by TREATY, (known as the
Constitution of 1845 by the Republic of Texas to enter the Union )
instead of by annexation. This allows the Texas Flag to fly at the same height as
the U.S. Flag, and may divide into 5 states.

15. A Live Oak tree near Fulton is estimated to be 1500 years old.

16. Caddo Lake is the only natural lake in the state.

17. Dr Pepper was invented in Waco in 1885. There is no period in Dr Pepper..

18. Texas has had six capital cities:
Washington-on- the Brazos, Harrisburg , Galveston ,Velasco, West
Columbia and Austin ..

19. The Capitol Dome in Austin is the only dome in the U.S. which is
taller than the Capitol Building in Washington DC (by 7 feet).

20. The San Jacinto Monument is the tallest free standing monument in
the world and it is taller than the Washington monument.

21. The name ' Texas ' comes from the Hasini Indian word 'tejas'
meaning friends. Tejas is not Spanish for Texas ..

22. The State Mascot is the Armadillo (an interesting bit of trivia about
the armadillo is they always have four babies. They have one egg,
which splits into four, and they either have four males or four females.).

23. The first domed stadium in the U.S. was the Astrodome in Houston.

Cowboy's Ten Commandments posted on the wall at Cross Trails Church in

Fairlie , Texas :
(1) Just one God.
(2) Honor yer Ma & Pa.
(3) No telling tales or gossipin'.
(4) Git yourself to Sunday meeting.
(5) Put nothin' before God.
(6) No foolin' around with another fellow's gal.
(7) No killin'.
(8) Watch yer mouth.
(9) Don't take what ain't yers.
(10) Don't be hankerin' for yer buddy's stuff.

Y'all git all that?

For Naomi

2009-05-05T14:05:00.004-05:00

This is for Naomi, an adorable little girl who just had an amputation. Of course anyone else can watch too, especially if you ever wondered how prosthetics work.

Mary and Martha

2009-04-29T11:05:00.002-05:00

For some reason the story of Mary and Martha keeps showing up in my life lately. First I heard a brief thing on the radio, then it showed up in a book I was reading (Max Lucado's "Cast of Charecters". Then it was the theme of the retreat I went to. Not only that, but the retreat center we were at was also hosting a "walk to Emmaus" and so of course this reminded me of when I went on a walk and I was at the table of Martha. This last weekend I was paired with two women for a small group session. Both are beautiful women, inside and out and both have been blessed with incredible musical gifts. I think they are both Mary's. When they sing, they truly worship, they positively glow when they sing praises to the Lord.

Max talks about how every church needs some of each.
I think he is right, in the church you can find Martha's in the kitchen cooking or cleaning, in the nursery rocking babies, teaching Sunday school, and doing all the little things that people take for granted. When you see the santuary decorated for a holiday, it's likely a Martha was involved.
In my life I have had Martha's. I think a gift got left out in the Bible, the gift of the Cassarole. Some women have this gift (not me!) I have been blessed by it. After surgery it was so nice to see someone bring me a meal so I didn't have to cook, after a baby or an adoption it left me more time with my new child. When my daughter was a baby and had surgery, I didn't want to leave her side, but my pastor's wife brought me a basket with fruit and granola bars and other healthy snacks that kept me going as I stayed by my babies side. Those cassarole women are Martha's. They feed the soul by feeding the body. I have seen Jesus through thier actions.
I have also been blessed by the Mary's in my life. On Sunday look around and you will see these people, they worship with thier entire being. Don't worry about looking around, they won't notice they are consumed with worship, like the two ladies I was with this weekend, they glow when they worship. I have been so blessed by these kinds of people. They are the ones you want to pray for you when things are tough, they won't question you, but if they say they will pray, they will. They will not forget and they will pray hard. Mary's write and sing and pray in ways that inspire others and bring us closer to God. They are also the ones you want to talk to when you have a problem, they will listen and give you Godly advice but won't try to fix it as a Martha is lible to do (maybe with a cassarole!)
It is sad when differences in people cause differences in God's family. God made us all different and gave us all different tasks. One thing that our speaker at our retreat did was she gave us all cups, they were in a basket and all wrapped in napkins or bags so we could not see what we were choosing. All were different. In them we put little pieces of paper representing our lives, the good, the bad and the nuetral. We were told that God gave us our Cup and our Portion. No two were the same, nor were the contents the same. There is so much work to be done here so God gives everyone different jobs to do. We need to respect each other and each other's callings. I happen to beleive that God called us to adopt, but not everyone is called to do that. I have a friend who felt God wanted her to wear a head covering. It had to do with her own vanity and soemthing God was teaching her. She took a lot of flack for that, even though she never said anyone else should do it. I have seen people fight over homeschooling, end times theology, when and how to baptize, how to parent, what time to have church, what age to start youth group and other stuff. I remember one time seeing a cartoon. You could see a group of people who had been wearing church clothes and sitting around a table, but thier clothing was torn, some had black eyes, furniture had been upturned. There had obviously been a fight. The words underneath said. "It's settled then, we will paint the Sunday School room blue." Christ came to unite Us. He asked us to Love each other, not judge each other. I guess this problem won't be going away soon, half of Paul's letters deal with settling petty arguments in the early church. I am going to pray that I will do my part to do better to get along with others. Whether a person is a Mary or a Marth or whatever, we are all sisters (and brother's) in Christ.

An awesome weekend!

2009-04-26T18:28:00.003-05:00

This weekend our church had our annual ladies retreat. At first I was a little bummed cause my bff (oooh don't I sound cool!) Best friend was not able to go. However, this turned out to be a good thing for me. I got to know other people better. I would not have done this if I had been with my friend. I was room mates with a lady who has kids who are friends with my kids and we had a good time getting to know each other better, I spent time getting to know the very sweet wife of your music director. Best of all on the way home and then standing in the parking lot of our church I met someone who has raised (and survived) a child a with attachment disorder. She totally understood the stuff I go through. The way the child will be one way in public and another at home makes it hard to talk to other people about things because they totally don't see the same child. They don't see the issues. I thought I was prepared, but the truth is you can never, ever be totally prepared to deal with these types of issues. Those who have not lived it cannot truly understand, though they can try. This lady has lived it, and it was amazing how wonderful it felt to talk to someone who really understood. She talked about so many things that had me saying Yes, yes, yes! So today I am thanking God for a wonderful refreshing weekend.

Challenger baseball

2009-04-22T08:12:00.003-05:00

Last night Marceli had his first Challanger baseball game of the season. He was so excited, especially when a coach told him he was the player of the game!
Challanger baseball is part of little leauge, but its for special kids. Kids of all abilities can play. The kids on Marceli's team may be Autistic or have Downs syndrome, or muscular dystrophy or any number of mental, cognative or physical disabilities. The rules are different too. The bases are closer together and the runs are tiled with stuff that makes it easier for kids in wheelchairs or walkers to run the bases. The players have buddies that help them, with the batting if they need it or in the fields, some that don't want to use walkers to run the bases run holding hands of buddies. The buddies might be regular kids from a regular baseball team, college or high school kids, sibings or parents. Each kid bats until they hit the ball and then they can run as many bases as they want while the pitcher (a coach) plays catch basically wtih the team in the field. Marceli of course likes to run all the bases for a home run. After every kid on the team bats they change places and the other team bats. Each team gets two turns at bat, so every kid bats twice. The kids love it. In the pictures he is trying to show his tough face. I made him take his hat off for one so he could show his new summer haircut, but he loves his hat so we have a frown on that one. (he hates haircuts so I did it very short so it will be a while before he needs one again) The one of him up to bat is hard to see.

Easter loot

2009-04-12T20:59:00.001-05:00

One of my kids took this picture of some of his Easter loot.

Easter memories

2009-04-12T20:11:00.003-05:00

Here are some Easter pictures. Easter baskets, coloring eggs, indoor Easter Egg hunt, and new clothes. I did not get any pictures of our performance at church. I was Mary Magadaline and Bob was Peter and Shiloh and Wes split the part of John (Shiloh had to work on Saturday so he did it Sunday morning, while Wes did it Saturday night) Sorry, I was too busy messing with costumes and mic's and trying to remember my lines to mess with pictures. That and making sure my little ones behaved. (sign language is very useful!)

Easter Fun

2009-04-12T19:13:00.003-05:00

So lots of pictures of Easter fun. The big white bunny at the citywide Easter egg hung was (shhhh) Wesley. He got pretty hot, but really had fun. There were tons of kids and tons of eggs and the fire department brought trucks for the kids to climb on. Wesley I mean the Easter bunny was a big hit. There is a picture with Marceli in his manual chair. (he uses his power chair for school, but we are making him use the manual some on weekends to get practice). Paulina did not want her picture taken with the bunny, but he grabbed her anyway. Wesley's friend Jacob (seen hugging the bunny) came along to help Marceli find eggs and to help Wesley get into the costume. Wesley only counted three babies that cried and would not have anything to do with him. Several little girls followed him around hugging him. He plans to brag in school about all the girls hugging on him, and just leave out the fact that most were 3-4 years old.

Reliant-LK

2009-04-11T15:26:00.003-05:00

Yesterday my son thought we were just going to meet his girlfriend for breakfast. which we did, but afterwards we went to six flags over Texas for the day. It was Christian youth weekend so we also went to a concert. The headliner was Reliant K (needtobreath was also there and they were great) Anyway, at the begining of the concert they asked the people to send a text to a certain number. Then they texted ten people back. There were tons of people there, but Amy (Shiloh's girlfriend) happened to be one of the ten. They got to take one person and go back stage and meet Reliant K. They were very excited and really enjoyed it. Here is the picture!

What if?

2009-04-07T09:10:00.002-05:00

My kids love asking that question. "What if I clear the table without being asked, can I stay up later?" "What if our car could fly?" "What if I had been born with two normal feet?".

Most of the time we don't know the answers to these and it's probably not healthy to dwell too much on things we can't change. Sometimes though it's good to ask the questions. Like when my daughter wondered what would happen if she tried being really nice to her brothers for a week. We made it a homeschool science project. She was shocked at how they responded. They were nicer to her!

I was reading a book by Max Lucado the other day called Cast of Characters. When he talked about Moses he compared his time in the dessert to school. God was preparing him to lead the people. He was learning the ways of the dessert, where the good watering holes were, how to survive, what plants you can eat, and how to deal with children and families. I had never thought about it that way. God uses the hard times and things that seem bad to teach us or prepare us for the future. It's pretty plainly stated in the story of Joseph when he told his brothers "What you intended for Evil, God used for good."

I remember once when I was a youth director. There was a teen age girl who was sitting apart after worship. We could tell she was upset and had been worried about her for several weeks. My friend who was helping me with youth went with me and we sat beside her in the dim sanctuary. She was sitting on the floor so that's where we sat too, one on each side of her. As we began to talk to her, she said she could not tell us what was happening to her becuase we would not understand it. She gave us enough clues that we both understood the idea of what was happening to her. It just so happened that it was something each of us had experienced. Because we were able to tell her that and share our experiences with her, she opened up to us and told us what her step father was doing to her. She said over and over that she could never have talked to us if we had not gone through something similar. We were able to help her and more important, get the abuse stopped. I don't think that God years ago decided that my friend and I should both experience such terrible things. However, once people with free will made the decisions to hurt us, God was able to redeem that and use it for us to help someone else. So often I think God does use hard times to prepare us for what we may have to deal with in the future.
When we were first trying to adopt, there was a little boy we wanted to adopt in Russia. Some missionaries had told us about him. He had a clubbed foot and a missing foot. My first thought was that we were in a two story home, there was no way we could adopt such a child. But the missionaries talked about him so much that I researched it and found that the stairs would not be something that would deter this child. So we proceeded. I was heartbroken when I found out it was not going to work. I had been so sure that God had been opening the doors! When I finally was called to go to Russia, I was asked to travel blind. I was given a list of 9 children I could choose from. Each had a birthdate, gender and a one sentance diagnosis. Arriving in Russia and having had only a couple of hours of sleep in several days, I was asked which children I wanted to see first. I knew that I could not go through seeing lots of children. The list had some with heart conditions, some with conditions I had never heard of and three with limb differences. Wow, what a co-incidence, I had researched limb differences. (LOL, I know it was not a co-incidence, but a God-incidence) The very top child on that list was a little girl with the diagnosis of "halfs of legs". That girl is now my beautiful Paulina.
Go back and look at these posts of her dancing.
http://momrainefamily.blogspot.com/2009/03/trying-again.html
http://momrainefamily.blogspot.com/2009/03/dance.html
http://momrainefamily.blogspot.com/2009/03/dance_10.html
God most certainly had a plan. What if I had not stepped onto that plane in faith? What if I had not researched limb differences? I would have totally missed out.
If we had not adopted Paulina and been exposed to different limb different children, we would not have had the courage to adopt Marceli. If a domestic adoption had not fallen through, we would not have been ready to adopt Marceli. So many things. Isn't it good to know that God has all the details in hand? He has a plan and he will prepare us for each thing we will need to go through. He knows the answers to the "what if" questions.

Good news

2009-04-02T14:31:00.002-05:00

So often when I read or watch news, it's mostly bad. So today it was refreshing to find a couple of positive stories. There are good people out there!

http://www.wistv.com/Global/story.asp?S=10115185

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/04/01/landlord.foreclosure.help/index.html

Friends

2009-04-02T13:40:00.002-05:00

Last night a storm woke me up and for some reason I started thinking about a certain Bible story. Do you remember the one where Jesus was preaching in a house and four guys pulled off part of the roof to lower thier paralyzed friend down for Jesus to heal? I got to thinking about that story and that man. How blessed he was to have the friends he had.

Lets just look at what the poor guy had going against him.
First off a society that was pretty supersitious about things like disabilities and illnesses, they saw them as a punishment from God. Remember the blind man? Jesus was asked who had sinned, him or his parents. Notice they didn't ask if it was caused by sin, they assumed that, they just weren't sure who was being punished.
Then we have the fact that they did not have the technology we have. No wheelchairs, no beds that are specially made to prevent bedsores. Even if someone did come up with a wheelchair they only had dirt roads and I can tell you from experience, wheelchairs don't do so well on dirt roads. Not only that but depending on the severity of his paralysis, they had to deal with the fact that he may have needed diaper. So not only did someone have to cook and clean for him and bath him and feed him, but change his diapers - cloth diapers that would need washing. I did cloth diapers with my boys, and cannot imagine having to do that for a grown man!
I find it interesting that it was not his family who brought him to Jesus, but his friends. Where was his family? The Bible doesn't tell us. These friends of his loved him so much that they carried him to Jesus, they actually had to pick him up and carry him. Can you imagine what it would take to get a paralized man up to the roof? Then getting through the roof. I had one teacher who said that was no big deap because it was probably only a thatch roof made of only hay. HMM, it occurs to me that the roof was sturdy enough for five people to stand on without it collapsing. The friends also risked the wrath of the homeowner. I don't know what the penatly was for destroying someone's roof, but I bet it could have been severe. Remember this was an age where people could be stoned for all sorts of things.

Yet these guys risked, ridicule, bad luck, back problems, angry home owners and climbing on a roof to help thier friend. Do you have friends like that? I have a friend whom I beleive would do that for me. I know she carries me to Jesus daily in her prayers as I do her. I know I would do that for my children. For those of us who are adoptive parents, it reminds us of what we already know. It's not blood that counts, it's love. It was love that compeled this guys friends to do what they did. It's love that makes our children so precious to us. A lot of people will be your friend when things are going good, but how many take that committment to the extreme of being there when things are bad. It's the same with parenting, it's easy to be a parent when our children are making us proud, but what about when it's hard? God doesn't give up on us when we are difficult or when we behave badly or even when reject him. With his help, we can be the same with our children and our spouses and our friends.

Can a cookie change the world?

2009-03-31T15:41:00.003-05:00

I worked with a lady once who told me this story.
When she was a little girl a friend invited her to VBS. She went because her friend told her they had cookies. Her friend was right, not only were there cookies, but the workers at VBS made it fun so she went all week. Then her friend moved and she never set foot in a church again during her childhood.
Fast forward to collage. She is a freshman in college. It's harder than she expected. More expensive than she expected. Her boyfriend broke up with her. Her mom moved in with a new boyfriend. Life was tough. She decided life was not worth it. She purchased sleeping pills and then decided that she would pack her stuff up so her mom would not have to do it. As she cleared her desk, she picked up the can that had always held her pencils. It had a pretty butterfly sticker on it she liked. She picked it up and turned it around and on the back it had another sticker that said "Jesus loves me". She remembered that she had made the little can in that VBS so long ago. As she looked at that sticker she wondered if it was true. She didn't remember much from that VBS, except that there were good cookies and it was fun. She remembered that one of her classmates went to church. She wasn't preachy or anything, but she said she could not attend a study group brunch on Sunday because she had church. She was a nice girl and was always kind to everyone. Her number was on the list for the study group. So my friend called this girl who came right over and answered all her questions about Jesus. By the time I met this woman she was a mom and wife. She volunteered and taught Sunday School. She told me once that she was only alive and saved by the Grace of God and the chain of people he put together. Had one link in that chain not done it's job, she might have been lost.
Note something the people in her chain, were all women. None of the women in that chain were clergy or missionaries. None did anything big. One baked cookies for VBS. One volunteered to work for a week at VBS and made it fun. One came up with a simple, inexpensive craft. One simply lived her faith. Add to that that someone in the congergation probably read that VBS needed cans, and took the time to wash out a can and bring it up to the church. Someone donated a few dollars to buy stickers. All little things really. All things that helped this woman who now does a lot to help others. There were people in my own life. The Sunday School teacher who held me in her lap as she told the story of the lost sheep and acted it out. She made the story come alive for me and made it personal. There was a lady in our church who when I was 14 and going to a leadership weekend retreat took me shopping and bought my first deoderant and some nice smelling shampoo (my family could only afford the bargain stuff we all shared) and a nightgown and robe set that made me feel like a princess. She told me someone had done something similar for her when she was young.
There was the friend who was the first "born again type Christian" to ask me what I beleived rather than to assume she knew. When my daughter had her first surgery, it was kind of a scary time for us. But when we checked into the hospital they gave her a little goodie bag of toys and a handmade baby quilt. (she was 14 months old at the time)That quilt was conforting. Knowing someone had cared enough to do this work for my child, even though they didn't know her. It made her stay better. When Paulina came home the ladies in my bible study were not only there at the airport seeing me off as I made my first trip out of the country alone, but when we got home half our church was there with banners and balloons and gifts. Waiting at home was a freshly cooked dinner. When I came back to bible study there was a shower. It was such a wonderful feeling.
So no matter what your gift, large or small, you can make a difference. Whether it's a cookie, a quilt, a smile, a cassarole, a shoulder for someone to lean on, a cash gift or a prayer. Any gift, when given to the glory of God will reap benefits that will astound you when you get to heaven and see the chain you were a part of and the results of that.

What Marceli has learned

2009-03-30T21:10:00.004-05:00

Lately Marceli has been learning some tough lessons. He does seem to have actually learned this time and is trying to do better. That's a huge step for him.
Here are some things he learned:
1. When mom tells you not to race your power wheelchair through every puddle and not to peel the plastic off of your control panel she is not just being mean. This will short out your power chair and you will have to use your manual chair for a few days.
2. If you throw your library book across the floor and mom says no library books for two weeks, your teachers will back her up.
3. If you try to bend your glasses in half they will break and people will figure out it was not an accident. Especially when three kids in the same grade all break thier glasses during the same recess.
4. The two for one deal: if you get in trouble in school, you get in trouble at home. If you get in lots of trouble at school, you get in lots at home. You get grounded for two weeks if you get on red at school.
5. Threatening to never eat again will not make mom let you watch TV when you are grounded. If you don't eat all day though, you might have to take a nap to conserve your fuel.
6. If you play mean tricks on your friends. They will get mad and not play with you.
7. Mom talks to teacher and bus drivers and finds out when you tell lies.
8. Mom loves you even when you get into lots of trouble!

Mission trip pictures

2009-03-30T16:53:00.002-05:00

Here are more pictures from the mission trip.

Spring break

2009-03-30T16:04:00.003-05:00

Here are some pictures from Spring break. The big boys and Bob (the biggest boy) went on a mission trip with the church. They went to Galveston to help repair homes damaged by the hurricanes. Even though they were a while ago they are still rebuilding down there.

My beautiful daughter

2009-03-28T19:46:00.003-05:00

I may be just a little bit prejudiced, but I think my daughter is very beautiful. One day in dance class her teacher was playing around with her new camera. It was my daughter's private lesson and she was also trying on some of her costumes. The green top and gold shorts are part of a costume for one of her solos. I am sure after recital I will post a video! The tutu is for another costume. Anyway, Thank you Miss Mandy for these pictures they are great!

updates

2009-03-28T19:27:00.004-05:00

Lets see it's been awhile since I posted.
Shiloh: He's at work now, but this morning he competed in UIL Science. There were only two sophmores on the team and they came in second and third of our schools team! I don't think he places overall, but he did really well considering he has not had all the classes they test on! Last week they had another Tennis tournament and Shiloh and his partner got third overall. Pretty good considering Shiloh has had very little time to practice lately as One act play practice is at the same time as Tennis practice. We saw the one act play at open house last week and I was impressed. They perform at contest Monday! So prayers for them to do thier best. A few of them are actually a little ambivilant about doing well. See the band leaves on a ski trip Wednesday. Shiloh paid for half of the trip on his own. IF the play does well and advances, then he (and a couple other members of the cast and crew) can't go on the ski trip because they would have to perform while the band is gone.
He is excited about the ski trip and about the concert the band will play in Colorado. The band did very well this year winning sweapstakes (means they took top scores in every contest!)Shiloh also got all ones on his solo at UIL (that is the best score)
Wesley and Paulina are busy getting ready for dance recital. Wesley is also doing track. Wesley competed in UIL earlier this year, getting all star cast in one act play, and placing in listening and dictionary skills and something else. (they did thiers months ago) Wesley and Paulina went to thier first clogging convention and loved it. Wesley is proving to be a very professional dancer, as he and his girlfriend broke up, but they are still doing a beautiful duet together and they are both doing a great job of not letting their personal life interfere with dance. Here are some pictures from the clogging convention. The man in the red shirt was thier favorite teacher. In the other picture they are with thier dance teacher Miss. Mandy who is wearing the scarf. Wesley is of course the only boy and Paulina the one not wearing a matching shirt (she could not find it) They had a great time.

Hope is a fragile thing

2009-03-11T23:18:00.004-05:00

I was painting another section of our family room today. (someday the whole room will get done, it's more than half way there now!) This time I had to do the corner where my collection of crosses is hanging. I had to take them all down. Move the bookcases(we are book addicts so there are bookcases in every room) and paint and them put everything back. Bob and the older boys are gone on a mission trip, and the little ones were begging to help. Well, I am not dumb enough to let them paint! So I gave them the job of dusting all the crosses. Naturally in the process one got broken, but we glued it back together. Interestingly, it was one that said "Hope", it was given to me last Easter my my neices. Now, I worry a lot about my neices for many reasons, but I have hope that they will turn out OK. Looking at that cross as it sat waiting for the glue to dry, I thought about what a fragile thing hope can be. I saw my daughter's face when it broke, the hope that she would be forgiven. Of course she was forgiven. She had that hope because she has made many mistakes in her life and been forgiven many times, as have I. My son on the other hand had a different reaction. His first reaction was to try to hide it, even though I was in the room. His second was to make sure I knew it was not his fault and he became angry. He seemed surprised at first to be forgiven, and then behaved as though it was expected. There is a difference between expectation and Hope. His reaction showed that he felt that he did not deserve any consequence. My daughter on the other hand who has lived in a family much longer, knew that she might deserve a consequence, but she also knew that her mother is often merciful. She also knew that sometimes she is forgiven AND has a consequence. She understands all this. So she had hope. My son does not hope for things very often. He has had a lot of dissapointment in his life that has taught him not to hope for anything. He is slowly learning that promises are kept by some people, that some people will not leave him. We are teaching him about God who has loved him all along and never left him. The God who arranged an incredible series of seeming co-incidences to bring him to our family. I occured to me even more that a cross that says hope is so fitting. Wihtout the cross we have no hope. Not only the obvious idea that we would have no hope of heaven, but what the cross also represents is that God loves us, He loved us enough to give up his son, that means he probably also loves us enough to take care of the smaller things in our lives. (it's all small compared to eternity!) If he didn't care what we did, or what happened to us, what would be the point in hoping for anything? My friend has a little girl who was in worse straights than my son. Her orphanage experience was far worse, but she never gave up hope. I am not sure what the difference was. Maybe that my son was alternatly spoiled and abused and hers was mostly just abused? I don't know, but God does. I also know that God is working in my son's heart and in her daughter's heart. Both children have a lot of physical issues to deal with, but I think God has great plans for both of them. They are both now in loving families, learning to trust and learning about the God that loves them so much. I can't wait to see what he does with them. I have great hopes for both of them. And as long as I keep my eyes on my Father, that hope is not fragile at all, but stronger than steel.

Why adoption?

2009-03-10T19:15:00.005-05:00

I am often asked why we adopted. The usual follow up questions is why did you adopt kids with disabilities, weren't there any healthy kids? I am also asked why I did not adopt from foster care.
So here is the truth. I have always known I would adopt kids. When my siblings and I were younger we had those fisher price little people. Do you remember those? They were wood, and later plastic. The had cylindrical bodies and little balls for heads with plastic or painted on hair. No arms or legs. Well we had a bunch of these. We would set open books up to make rooms for our houses. I remember that my brother would always choose the dresser or a bookshelf, whatever was the highest point in the room and build his home on a mountain. He would have a mom and a dad and a boy child. My little sister would always have a mom and dad and a boy and a girl. I would take whatever was left over. This would include the broken ones, and often I would add bottle caps, rocks, washers, erasers or whatever else I could find. My brother would tell me I could not do that. I would explain that the rocks and bottle caps and such were adopted. I would then name all my "children" often I would have 20 I would also tell him the ages and which ones were twins. So as you can see adoption was something that was always in my heart. By the time we set out to adopt, we had three children in our home. My two bio boys and my baby sister (who was a teenager not a baby) We had a pastor doing mission work in Russia. He told me about the special needs orphanages. This broke my heart. My youngest brother was born with angelmans syndrome which left him very disabled and cost him his life. I loved my little brother very, very much. So we decided we would look into adopting from Russia. That story is posted elsewhere on this blog. Anyway, when things did not seem to be working, I contacted social services. I told them we already had a homestudy and wanted to adopt a child with special needs. I figured I had already done the baby thing and would leave the babies to those who had not yet gotten to have that joy. (not kidding here, I love babies)I wanted the kids no one else wanted. Social services informed me that they would not talk to me unless I was willing to take a child over the age of 7. Except that our homestudy specified we should adopt a child younger than our oldest bio son. He was only 5 or 6 at that time, so they would not even talk to us. Well, eventually we did adopt our daughter and later another son. They have made our family better and stronger. My boys have learned so much from them.

Look at the videos below, look at my daughter's smile at the end of her solo. Now I want you to realize that had we not adopted her, at the age of four she would have been sentanced to an asylum. Most kids don't live to be 16 there, because the strong ones get the food. The ones who do live are thrown out at 16 to make thier own way begging. She would not have gone to school or had proper medical care. My daughter is beautiful and talented. She is in fourth grade. The government does not support her in any way. We get no government money. Someone accused me of adopting my son for money. I want to know where this money is? We paid 3000.00 out of pocket for his wheelchair, we had to buy a van to haul the wheelchair, we have paid for counseling for him and other things. We get no money from the government. We have not applied for disablity or SSI for him. We expect to come up with the money for him to go to college and expect him to get a job just like our other children. Several other adoptive parents have also lately been subject to rude comments. I think this is sad. People just don't understand. My personal theory is that they feel guilty because there are millions of children in the world who need parents and they are not willing to step up to the plate. So to make themselves feel better they have to come up with a reason why adoption is a bad idea. It's sad really. With the downturn of the economy, our retirment fund may not be there when we retire. That money we invested may just be gone, just like that. However, the time, money and love we invested in our children will pay eternal dividends. I am so glad we chose to invest in a sure thing. LOVE

Trying again

2009-03-10T10:03:00.003-05:00

Trying again to upload Paulina's 2007 solo. I have salelite and it does not like clouds! This is the first half, I had to cut it in half to get it all on here. So you will have to watch both to see the whole thing. I think the second half she was better, she got her confidence up during the fast part.This year she will have two solos, so look for them here in late May.
and here is part two

Dance

2009-03-10T07:38:00.001-05:00

This was Paulina's very first solo. It was two years ago when she was 7.

Dance

2009-03-10T05:18:00.001-05:00

This was 2007's jazz number with Paulina and Wes

Dance

2009-03-10T00:35:00.001-05:00

I was having pain issues and could not sleep. So I thought I would post some old dance videos. Something happened to last years, so I am posting a couple from 2007. This one should be ballet. Wesley is the only boy and Paulina is the smaller girl. This was the advanced class.

Sad commentary on our world

2009-03-02T20:36:00.002-06:00

I was sitting in the doctors office today with Paulina waiting and waiting. She was looking around the room and then asked me a question. She was dead serious. She wanted to know which corner we should go to if we were under lockdown. Lockdown?
Ok so we live in a very small town. People all know each other. There has never been an incident. Nevertheless in addition to the fire and tornado drills, the schools are now required to do "lockdown drills". The children learn to lock themselves in the room and hide in a corner that can't be seen from the window on the door. The gates from the playground are locked. All doors are locked. To get in someone has to buzz you in. To volunteer you have to have ID.
When I was a kid I had never heard of a lockdown, when I got older I only heard about it in connection with prison.
Everytime they have any of those drills she gets scared and has nightmares. It's a sad, sad commentary on this world that the schools have to be prisons, and that our kids have to be afraid.

Another prayer request!

2009-02-23T21:43:00.001-06:00

This is for a little girl that lives in the next town over in our county. My son's second grade teacher is her godmother.
Please pray for her and then send a note to her and her mom to let them know. They are currently at St. Lukes getting treatment.
http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/darcycassidy

Paulina's hero

2009-02-19T14:48:00.003-06:00

I assigned Paulina to write an essay about her hero. Here it is.

My Hero
By: Paulina Fuller

My hero is my Doctor, Dr. Herring. He has changed my life in many ways.
Dr. Herring did two surgeries on me. In the first surgery he cut off my foot cause it was in the way of me walking, so I could like not walk. Then I got prosthetics and learned how to walk. Then for my second surgery that was on my other leg on my condile you probably don’t know what that is. It’s a bone that sticks out of your leg. One of my condiles on my left leg was growing sideways. I could not even wear jeans. That was bad. So he did a surgery on that condile and he like shaved it down a little and now I get to wear jeans. And now that bone doesn’t grow so funny.
Because I got my legs, I love to dance. That’s one of my hobbies. The kinds of dance I do, in case you are wondering, I do two jazz classes, and tap, ballet, hip hop and clogging and I do solos. On one of my solos for this year I start out with my legs and then I go in a mirror and I take my legs off and change clothes and I am just me! It’s called a lyrical dance, if you want to know. On my other solo, I just leave my legs off for the whole song and do Girls just want to have fun. It has lots of flips and gymnastics in it. Clogging was hard because I did it with my legs on and my legs don’t bend at the ankle and I can’t point my toes. But then we decided to try it a different way. My mom got me some large clogging shoes, and I use one of those and one of my last year’s shoes. I have a small foot on my left and I put the small clogging show on that and I put the big clogging shoe on the other leg. I put both shoes on backwards! I bet you can’t clog backwards! It looks really cool, cause my shoes are two sizes and they are backwards. My dance teacher thinks it would be fun for me to go out in my backwards clogging shoes with a hat on backwards and sunglasses on the back of my head. I love dance.
Dr. Herring works in Dallas at a hospital called Scottish Rite. At Scottish Rite a lot of people like me go there so they can be fixed up and almost have a normal life. It’s a really fun place. They have fun doctors and fun movies and when you have surgeries they have a lot of art stuff and sometimes people come and do stuff for us. The minute you walk in there is a really tall ceiling and hanging from it is this bike thing with two people riding it and stuffed animals and stuff, but it’s not real. The add something new almost every year. They also have popcorn, it’s really good, but you have to pay for it, but it’s really cheap, only a quarter and you can get a big one for 50 cents. They have a lot of fish, when I was little and I went there, every time I saw the fish or the trains I would stop and stair, cause they are so cool. They have a store with a lot of pretty stuff, but my favorite thing to buy there is gum, well and the toys and the animals (I am an animal person) After you have surgery the nurses have faces on their nametag and you get to pick how you feel. And people there always have stuff for you, if you are good sometimes you get animals or something. They have elevators to go to every floor and they have mirrors in them even on the ceiling. If you get a prosthetic you can choose what fabric or if you want to look normal you can choose skin. But I always choose the fabric so I won’t be boring. Right now I have Hannah Montana. I go to Wal Mart to get my fabric, but you can get some in prosthetics too. They can make lots of different kinds of prosthetics. They can make running ones that are kind of bendy and have a loop kind of foot and you can run really fast and bounce. When I get in seventh grade I am planning to get some of those legs and do track.
And Camp! The hospital lets us go to out on a limb. I have a friend whose dad runs the camp and she gets to live there. We are best buds. It’s so much fun, you get to go everywhere on golf carts. In the summer we get to go for a whole week and in the winter we get to bring our families, which is cool, cause you get to meet everyone. They also have horses, and miniature golf and a swimming pool we get to go to in the summer and a theater. All that stuff I just said, only happens in the summer, but the movie theater is in the winter also and the golf. They also have games and toys and fish and popcorn and stuff. They have a cool 80’s bathroom. And when you walk through those castle doors, it’s magic, stars on the ceiling and the stage and cool beanbags. They have a backstage too. The way cool thing about camp is everybody has something missing, they are all different like me, so I don’t feel different. Every body at least has one or two limbs missing. So nobody looks at me funny even if I take off my legs.
Dr. Herring, this is the part why he is my hero, he is the one who runs the hospital and he is my doctor which is really cool. He thinks my little foot is cool, I don’t know why, but he just does, he even takes pictures of it. And the very best thing is he is trying he is trying to find a way for me to meet Hannah Montana. He is just a cool doctor, I can’t explain it, he just is. That’s why he is my hero.

Prayer request

2009-02-18T19:42:00.002-06:00

I have a prayer request for a friend. This man is a Godly man. He has raised three step children and then grandchildren. He still has three living with him. He has cancer and we are told the end is near. His cancer is a result of Agent Orange, but because he was exposed on a ship and not on the ground he was denied his veterens benefits. We need to pray for this family. Pray for him, as he is in lots of pain. Pray for his wife as this is very hard on her. Pray especially for his Grandson J. This little boy has stolen my heart. I can't go into his story here, but he needs a lot of prayer. He is five years old and God knows the whole story. He is very, very close to his grandpa.

Peace on Earth?

2009-02-12T07:50:00.003-06:00

I don't know about the whole planet, but our cat and dog seem to be doing pretty well. I tried to go outside and get a better picture (this one is through the window and the screen) but they both jumped down. Our Terrier Sandy, is a digger so we can't keep her in a fence, so she must be on a chain. However, we have this old wheelchair on our front porch which she likes to sleep on. It must have been cool this morning because our outside cat Gizzy (she came with the house, and was already an outside cat, she is mosty long fur!) was curled up with the Sandy. Aren't they cute together?

Pictures just for fun

2009-02-09T22:21:00.003-06:00

Just some pictures for fun. Mostly Marceli this time. He loves his skateboard and his car. He looks so cute in his new glasses. I love the picture of Shiloh playing Tuba with Marceli in it!

Rad and God

2009-02-09T11:53:00.002-06:00

My youngest son found a verse he liked in scripture yesterday. It was part of the sermon. I found myself trying to give him breif whispered answers to his questions, but also trying to not disrupt the sermon since we sit in the front row! We have had many discussions about God and love. This verse said "Perfect Love casts out Fear". He was very intriqued by that thought. You see to him, love and fear are all wrapped up together. To him, love is scary. Someone starts taking care of you, and you start to care about them and then they leave and it hurts. This happened over and over and over in his young life. He has many fears. He fears growing bigger and not being cute. Cute and small has been his identity, his trade, he has learned to use it. He is a very smart kid. He has looked around and realized that it doesn't work when you are bigger. He will have to find a new identity, and that is scary. What he is used to works for him and has been working for years. So this makes him afraid of growing, so he is afraid to eat. Part of him wants to grow and be big, but another part is afraid. So food has now become something scary because eating makes you grow. Love is scary cause you have to open yourself up. Trust is also scary. He also fears not being in control. He told me once he asked Jesus into his heart, but kicked him back out cause he was too bossy. Not sure about the theology there, but the kid was being honest about his feelings, so I will take it. The truth is, he is not in control of his life. He did not get to choose how many limbs to be born with, he did not get to choose where to be born, or to have parents. He did not get to choose to come to a new country and have to learn a whole new language and culture. He does not get a choice about when to go to bed or whether to go to school. There is really very little in his life he is in control of. However, it frightens him to not be in control, so he tries very hard to control what he can. He controls whether or not he eats and if he keeps the food down. He tries very hard to control the people around him. He has been practicing for a long time. He made a study of adults and sometimes he can control them. He learned how to trick people, he learned how to lie convincingly. He learned to watch adults carefully and know when they were watching and when they weren't. He learned to watch for subtle changes of expression that would tell him if what he was saying was pleasing them or not. He learned to carefully say things that would make them smile. He thinks he can fool all adults. This is not true of course, most adults can see what he is trying to do but ignore it. A few are fooled but they are not major players in his life, so really, fooling them gains him nothing.

I started thinking about how all of us respond to God. It's not so different you know. My son's problems were caused because the original plan, the way things are supposed to go for a baby got disrupted. When a baby is born, what is supposed to happen is there is supposed to be one person, usually the mother, who is the primary caregiver. This person is devoted to that baby. When baby is hungry this person feeds them, sometimes before the baby even has time to cry. When baby is wet, hot, cold, sick, lonley, or tired this person jumps in to try to fix it. A dry diaper, a soft warm place to sleep, a hug whatever that baby needs is provided. With my son that was disrupted. He did not have a parent to care for him this way. Sometimes when he was hungry or wet he got taken care of right away, sometimes he didn't. Every cry was not noticed. Because this first relationship was broken, he has a hard time with all his relationships. He does not have that first one to work off of. Look at us and God. The original plan had God as our primary caregiver. Look at the life Adam and Eve had. Everything was provided. The temperature was perfect all the time, food was right there whenever they wanted it. He walked with them and talked with them. Then the original plan got broken. The relationship got damaged. A seed of doubt was planted. That seed of doubt my son has "will mom really always be there for me or will she get tired of me and dump me?" is very much like the seed the snake put in Eve's mind, "Does God really want what's best for me? Is He really going to take care of me, or should I be prepared to take care of myself just in case?"

In both cases the trust was broken. My son has trouble trusting me to take care of him. We all have trouble trusting God to take care of us. When I won't let him watch TV all night long, he wonders if I love him or I am being mean. When God tells us no to something we want, we wonder if he really loves us or if he is being mean. My son has come a long way in his trust of me. I only hope that I am making similar progress in my Trust of my Father.

another jam session video #3

2009-02-03T07:01:00.003-06:00

Cruise jam session 2

2009-02-03T07:01:00.002-06:00

Another jam session video from the cruise

Cruise jam session 2

2009-02-03T06:14:00.000-06:00

Another of the jam sessions on the cruise.

Cruise Jam session

2009-02-02T22:23:00.002-06:00

One of the fun things they did on the cruise was something totally not planned. Mandissa's Bass player, gathered each night a bunch of musicians from the many bands that were there and they did midnight jam sessions. Shiloh attended all of these and took some video. Here is one of his videos.

state rooms video

2009-01-30T18:28:00.002-06:00

concert video

2009-01-30T18:28:00.001-06:00

Not sure which concert this was. Shiloh filmed it

cruise food

2009-01-30T16:42:00.001-06:00

Life boat drill video

2009-01-30T15:44:00.002-06:00

cruise video

2009-01-30T05:46:00.001-06:00

Not cruise but cute.

2009-01-29T22:56:00.002-06:00

I was uploading some of Shiloh's cruise videos to the computer from his flip camera and came across this little gem. It was from a few months ago. They were supposed to be cleaning up a big mess they made. (note the spilled cat litter on the floor) However, it seems they found something more fun to do.

more of Shiloh's cruise pics

2009-01-29T22:51:00.003-06:00

Curise pics from Shiloh's camera

2009-01-29T22:24:00.003-06:00

More concert pics

2009-01-29T20:29:00.004-06:00

A little more Nicole C. Mullens and of course more towels and another concert, not sure which one since it came off Shiloh's camera, but I think it's Mandissa. And we also have Shiloh with his new friends on a scavanger hunt.

concerts on the cruise

2009-01-29T19:43:00.002-06:00

Here is some concert pics, mostly of Nicole C Mullens, including singing with her daughter. Also John and Sherry Rivers of the Klove morning show. I think the other is Phil Joel, but I may be remembering wrong. I finally got some prescription meds and am feeling better, but a little loopy!

More cruise pics

2009-01-29T18:22:00.003-06:00

Paulina is wearing her new ear rings she got on the island. The boys wanted to take a picture of how food is presented. Shiloh got up and danced with the waiters! Yes, Shiloh Fuller!

More cruise pics

2009-01-29T16:13:00.004-06:00

Here we have Me and Paulina at the formal evening, the guys opted out. Of course another towel folding creation, and Paulina on the ganway to Grand Turk Island. During the formal evening, the waiters sang to us in Italian! It was awesome.

Cruise pictures

2009-01-29T15:26:00.004-06:00

Here are some cruise pictures.
Some will be of the towels that were found folded into cute animals each night on the bed. (Wes got the book that tells how to make them) Some are of the many concerts. My favorites were Karen Kingsbury (pictured below), Nicole C. Mullins, Mandissa, third day, Rush of fools and More! Bob loved 321Improve and Shiloh loved the impromptu jam sessions they had each night at midnight where musicians from the various bands got together.

Home safely from the cruise

2009-01-28T17:58:00.002-06:00

I will post pictures later. I just wanted to post that we are home safe.
I picked up some sort of bug and so I am sick.
Lets, see our adventure began when we had to get the pets to the vet for boarding.
Paulina's kitten Aria walked right into his carrier. This gave her a lot of confidence. So she ordered her older cat Katchka into her carrier. Katchka ignored her. Paulina tried reasoning with her and threatening her and then left her to "think about it". Then she tried to force her in. Katchka did not scratch Paulina as Paulina is her favorite human on the planet, but she also would not go into the carrier. Finally Paulina gave up and I had the joy of getting an angry cat into a carrier. I am not her favorite person (except when she is hungry and Paulina is not around) so she scratched me and bit me. I finally wrapped her in a towel and got her in. Then we got all three dogs on leashes and into the car. Marceli's dog tipper is afraid of everything. When you put a leash on him, he collapses into a heap. His brother Sammy loves to go walking and was happy. Thier mother Sandy was excited about a ride in the car. I don't understand little Tipper. He has not been abused. He was born in our home. Granted his brother can sometimes pick on him a little, but they are also close buds. I guess it's just his personality.
Anyway, we get the pets dropped off, the minivan loaded (3 giant suitcases, 9 small bags, two wheelchairs and 6 people!) and we are off.
The flight goes well, though security is so much fun. With prosthetic legs, and wheelchairs and a cpap and computer, plus shoes and belts and watchs and then getting everything gathered back up!
We land and our shuttles (two separate ones, one for the wheelchairs that will only hold four people and the hotel one for the rest of us) take us to the hotel. (though we have to call one, even though it was supposed to be waiting). At the hotel we end up standing around with a whole bunch of other people all going on the same cruise. Bob forgot our confirmation paper, so they tell him that his reservation is for the wrong day. They just about convinced him it was! (when we got home, we checked and it was not for the wrong day!) Anyway, after an hour or two in the lobby (at midnight!) They end up taking us by shuttle to another hotel (we had to leave the wheelchairs behind and carry Marceli, which was fine since he was asleep) we pay 200.00 for a room (fuming since we assume they charged us for the night before too) and we sleep for four hours and then go back to the first. We run into lots of others who had late flights who got sent to other hotels. The ones who had confirmations in thier hands and made a stink got thier rooms free. Those who didn't, were all told that they were booked for different nights and had to pay. We are working on getting our money back. So we started our cruise totally exausted and frustrated. We get on the boad and one of the first things I do is take the kids to get registered for the kids area. The people working there tell me they don't think Marceli can participate, but that I can come back to talk to the manager at 8:30. I am pretty ticked. Marceli is devestated. The first concert is at 8, but I have to skip it to talk to the manager. I am forseeing the whole trip with a bored 8 year old who hates concerts. Hmm. Anyway, the manager is American and nice as can be and says of course he can participate. Whew! he spent most of the cruise up there, playing video games and such. He loved it, course we are thinking he could do that at home. Paulina did not like the kids area, so she spent a lot of time in her room reading and watching TV. (again, stuff she could do at home) Wesley wanted to hang with Shiloh, but Shiloh met some kids his age and is so into music that he went to lots of concerts. So Wesley ate and ate and ate. So really the only one who enjoyed the cruise for things they could not do at home was Shiloh. So next year if we can figure out what to do with the kids, Bob and I are thinking of going alone. Anyway, I am going back to bed, this bug I caught is catching up to me.

Something to think about

2009-01-19T20:40:00.000-06:00

http://smilesandtrials.blogspot.com/2009/01/you-cant-just-know-and-do-nothing-or.html

Awsome RAD video

2009-01-19T20:04:00.000-06:00

Here is an awesome video that explains RAD
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XFaNeqrI7pw

Marceli's adoption story

2009-01-19T12:48:00.003-06:00

As promised here is the story of how we got Marceli.

It started with an e-mail. The social worker who had done Paulina's post placement years before had heard from a domestic agency that there was a child soon to be born who would be born without arms. The parents had decided that they were not prepared to raise this child and so wanted to place the child for adoption and contacted the agency. None of the waiting parents on file with the agency were interested. I called and got some information and talked to Bob. By some mirical he said yes. So we rushed a new homestudy, paid a fee to the agency, wrote a letter to the birth family and waited. We were assured that we were the only interested family and that it was just a matter of time till the birth mother officially chose us. As the due date drew near I started to worry. Especially since I heard the agency was still looking for families. Several other families who had adopted limb different children were approached. Some turned it down becuase of the cost. Others worried about other things. I asked the agency what the issue was. I told them that if they told me, I could either drop out or perhaps address it. For instance if it was that the birth family wanted the child raised Jewish, I could not do that, though I could promise to teach him of his heretage and do the circ and such. I specifically mentioned that if she wanted him to be an only child I would drop out since that was not something I could control. If they would only tell me the issue, I could address it and know if it was something we could work with or if we should just back out. Well, she kept saying no, we were perfect. Finally the day came when she called to tell me the mother had chosen another family. Turns out she wanted to him to be an only child. Had they told me that in the first place, I would not have even put our name in. I would not have paid the fee to the agency (non refundable of course) or gotten my hopes up. So then I was left with a homestudy and my heart set on another child and no child. I knew that we wanted another limb different child since this was a special need we knew a lot about. So I began looking for our child. We started the procedure for a boy in Russia, only to be told that he was no longer available. Finally we gave up, and decided it was not meant to be. A week after that I got a phone call. An agency that works with Guatamala had recieved a letter and a photo in the mail from Poland. A charity in Poland that works with disabled children had decided that he needed to be adopted so they had sent letters to agencies all over the world. They never heard from most of them. Others told them they could not help. This particular agency, did not even work in Poland so the lady opening the mail was getting ready to throw it away. At that moment the owner of the agency walked by. She saw the photo. Marceli's Romani blood gives him coloring that could pass for Guatamalan. So she was intriqued. She asked about the photo and the lady told her. She remembered my asking about limb different children and dug out my phone number. She told me that they could not help me adopt him, but would send me the letter and photo if I wanted it. She also read me the letter over the phone and described the photo. Also in the letter was a website. The site was in Polish but I was able to click around till I found the same photo she had described. I told Bob and showed him the photo. We both knew this was our son. It took a lot of paperwork and waiting and searching to find an agency to help us and they were delays and issues, but in the end we were able to bring him home to our family and the rest is history. We are grateful for the all the God-incidences that brought him to us. (we dont' beleive in coincidences). He is a blessing to our family. Here is that first picture we ever saw of him.

Adoption story

2009-01-19T05:16:00.002-06:00

I was this weekend how we came to get started in adoption. I found where I had written about it years ago. So I will set the scene for you and link you to it.
We were living in New Mexico. Bob was loving the dry heat and the low maintanance front yard (gravel!) and I was missing the trees and the color green. The boys were like two and four, and we had coustody of my 16 year old sister. We were teaching sixth grade Sunday school, which happened to be confirmation in that church. I was volunteering at the private school the boys attended and running a clown ministry that had taken off in ways I had never imagined. Anyway, here is what I wrote, way back then.
http://www.fullersites.com/lorraine.html
Then we have a cute little thing Bob wrote about how he felt. Here
http://www.fullersites.com/bob.html
Later I will try to write about Marceli's adoption six years later!

Hope for the future

2009-01-18T18:13:00.004-06:00

This weekend I had fifteen tenth grade boys. You know that could have been a disaster. Our church had 200 teens scattered into twelve homes. Our group of boys was awesome. They got serious and listened when they were supposed to, the played and prayed well together, not leaving anyone out. The cleaned up after themselves, they listened and obeyed instructions. They gave me hope for the future. We had an awesome speaker here is his website
Runks.com
There was also an awesome band called Luminate. Thier website is Luminiterock.com
I am going to add some photos of "our boys".
The yellow and pink tape and the flags and some forks and such were left during the last night courtesy of the tenth grade girls. They came the evening before to pray with the guys. (they actually had an awesome session together) and case the joint. The boys were actually still up and didn't notice anything. Our guard dog probably helped them! Of course Paulina had defected to thier side and spent them night with the girls (well, the the little sister of the host family who is a friend of hers) but fell asleep before the fun. Anyway, it was an awesome weekend, with some awesome guys.

Proud Mom moment

2009-01-16T14:31:00.003-06:00

Last night I was sitting with my husband and my two youngest children at a restaraunt. A man came across the restaraunt to talk to us. He is a man who is well known around the communitee, a very nice guy and a prominant business man. He said he wanted to tell us what a credit Shiloh is to the Cliftex. Shiloh has only been working at the Cliftex a short time and is often nervous because he is the youngest employee. This gentleman told us how polite and kind our son is when he is working at the theater. It does a mom's heart good to know her son is doing well when she's not looking! His boss told me she was very impressed at how well he learned the history of the place and she has him give tours to out of town people.

Here is the link to the Theater.

http://www.cliftextheatre.com/

RAD, to get help or not?

2009-01-13T09:44:00.002-06:00

I was chatting with a friend today and she wanted to know why Marceli is not currently in counseling. I have had a couple of people ask me about his problems and what we are or are not doing and of course I have had lots of people offer me advice. So let me explain a few things.

1. His diagnosis. He has been diagnosed with Reactive Attachment Disorder. This basically stems from the fact that over the years he had several caregivers, those caregivers always left. This led him to beleive that love was not safe. If you love someone and they leave it hurts. We all know people who have had a bad relationship and avoid more relationships after that. Well, this is the same thing. He and I have discussed it. He knows we love him, he has tested that love. One of the sweetest things he ever told me was "Man, mom your love is so strong, nothing I can do will break it, I tried and tried." This many not sound sweet to some, but remember this kid had the attitude that he would "break up with me before I broke up with him". Forming a relationship is hard sometimes and it requires risk. He was afraid of that risk. He did not trust us not to send him back, so he didn't want to get attached. He has now given up on that. This does not mean he doesn't have fears, but that he is now willing to take that risk. Also a part of this, the reactive part, is the skills he learned that helped him in the orphanage. He learned how to get attention, he learned that being cute, and loud and smiling got him attention. He learned that repeating everything he heard got him laughs and attention when he was little. He had to compete with other children for attention and he was very good at getting the attention by doing whatever it took. He no longer needs those skills, but many of them are habits now. He learned that telling people at school he was mistreated in the orphanage got him extra attention at school and allowed him to get away with things he might not have otherwise. He learned that telling the caregivers at the orphanage that he was mistreated at school got him attention there, he even played caregivers against each other, telling one shift the other one was mean. He felt like he had to control his environment to be safe, but conversely he did not respect the adults he could control. To complicate things more, when a caregiver could see through his acts, that also frightened him and he would do what he could to get rid of that person. So when asked a question, instead of answering honestly he answers with what he thinks the person wants to hear, truth has no bearing on it. He has gotten so much better! He has truly come a very long ways and is opening his heart to us more every day.

His other diagnosis is an eating disorder. This is not a case of him being a picky eater, or not liking American food, or me trying to make him eat too much. This is a problem he had before he was adopted, though we were not told about it. There are several reaons, which I won't go into because they are very personal to him. However, what is important is that this is getting better too. He is still underweight and his health is in danger because of it. He will go days without eating or drinking if I let him. He has been hospitalized in the past for this. We have tried letting him pick whatever he wants to eat, he wants to eat nothing. He does not enjoy eating or drinking, it's all a chore. He used to throw up daily and hide food and do anything else he could to get out of eating. He has gotten better. He still had issues when schedules change. He lost three pounds over the two weeks of Christmas break recently. He is 8 years old and only weighs 30lbs. Even accounting for missing legs and arm, this is not enough. He was 26lbs when we got him two years ago. He has gotten himself as low as 23lbs (he was dangerously sick then and sleeping most of the time) He has never been above 32. Right now our goal is to not loose weight. We would love to see him grow and gain weight, but for now we are happy with maintaining. We have tried many, many things to help him, but the truth is the only thing that helped was him deciding he wanted to be healthy.

2. Medication: We have tried a few medications. I don't like the idea of giving him medication, but we were desperate to keep him alive. I do think medications are over prescribed. I think things like ADD and possibly even RAD may be over diagnosed. However, for kids who have real problems the medications can be a godsend. I have me children who truly could not concentrate and for home ADD medication was a life saver. These children were so much happier with medication. I have also met children who were just normal active kids who were medicated to make life easier for thier parents or teachers. The medications did help some with Marceli, but not enough to really make a large difference so we have taken him off of all medications. I beleive that as parents we are the experts on our own children and we need to advocate for them and see that thier needs are met.

3. Counseling: Counseling has it's place and we have seen several counselors. However, some counselors can do more harm than good. For instance a counselor who did not want me in the counseling sessions, told Marceli that he needed to learn to spend time away from me. She did not get that he had spent six years without a mother, what he was learning about was accepting a mother. He did not need help learning to seperate from me, but rather to attach to me. She also did not back me up when I explained to her that we were working on honesty. She did not think this was something to work on, I disagreed. He was having trouble separating fact from fiction and I wanted him to have help with this, but she made it worse by allowing him to tell her things that were obviously not true and not call him on it. He had no respect for her becuase he felt she was not smart enough to know when he was telling her a lie. So we left. I dealt with a social worker who felt it was my parenting that caused his eating issues. Um, they started before I met him, so I don't think I was the cause! We have also met with some wonderful specialists who did help. Right now, I think we are doing well on our own. I am in support groups where I can get advice when I need it. I have made it a point to study my son (all my children really) and work hard to give him what he needs. Some things that work for other parents who have kids with similar issues work for him, some don't. Every child is so unique and each has thier own individual set of needs. I think parents really need to be students of their children. This takes time and love, and listening.

Anyway, if someone has a question about these issues please feel free to ask. I don't know if I covered everything my friend wanted me to cover or not.

Yes, I am insane

2009-01-11T21:47:00.002-06:00

Next weekend I will have 12 tenth grade boys in my home. Our church does a once a year weekend thing for teens called DNow. That means that with my younger kids and the college guy that will come to work with the teens we will have 17 people in the house. It will be interesting. We meet all the boys on Thursday night. (though my own tenth grader is working both Thursday and Friday nights) and they all come over on Friday. We pick up our college guy at five and then feed him (and our own kids) and get Shiloh to work at six and get Wesley to his host family and be ready for our boys to show up. My children have participated before and loved it. It's amazing how many kids in this town go. Last year it was over one third of the population of the high school and Junior high in this town. Many kids who never go to church come to this event. We have an awesome speaker lined up and an awesome (loud) band. So if you think of it, pray for us and pray for these kids.

The youth director today was telling us that several kids have told him that the best part of the weekend for them is seeing how a real family works. So many of the kids come from broken homes and do not know what a Christian family is like. We were told to keep this in mind in our intereactions with our own children and our spouses. The kids are watching more than we know. So pray that we can be a good example of a loving family for these kids. Pray for Marceli, sometimes changes in Schedule are tough on him. He will love the attention the older kids will no doubt shower on him, but likely he won't eat. He has gained back one of the three pounds he lost over Christmas, but he is still dangeriously underweight and is having problems staying hydrated. We will be going on our long awaited cruise the following weekend and we want him to be strong enough to enjoy it! We are taking his manual chair, and while in the orphanage he used it all the time and could go forever in it, the power chair has spoiled him. He took his manual chair to church and had a lot of trouble. He is weak from the weight loss and the use of the power chair. Pray that he enjoys this weekend and the cruise the next weekend.

A miracle

2009-01-08T18:00:00.002-06:00

Downloading photos I saw this one and remembered taking it becuase it's not something I see often. Shiloh and Paulina doing dishes together and getting along well! They also volunteered, so after I woke from my faint, I took the picture.

My lego boy!

2009-01-08T17:18:00.002-06:00

Since Marceli has had such a tough last few weeks, with changes in schedules I wanted to celebrate today because he is making better choices for the first in a few weeks. So when I saw him building this creation I had to take a picture and gush. You know, building with little legos is tough with only one hand!

Home school so far

2009-01-08T16:45:00.003-06:00

Well so far we love home schooling. I have started at times calling my lovely daughter by a new name. "Stallina" She loves to stall on things. It was a busy week for our first week, I had hoped to have a quiet week to start, but we had lots of appointments this week that had been made a while back. However on one of them we learned she needs glasses, so we will be getting those and I bet that will help her lot. Actually we already had two with glasses and will soon have four. We are not sure how we did that, four for four in the glasses department. We can't even blame the gentics (though I blame dh, he's had lasic but his eyesight before that was terrible!)

Anyway, we love the flexibility of homeschooling. Like sitting on the stairs to write a book report! She is doing a secret project for both Social studies and Science, I can't print it here since her brothers might read this and they are a part of it. We are also getting extra benefits. When I had blood work done as soon as the lady realized she was homeschooled, she took a lot of time to explain to her exactly what they were going to do with my blood. And when Paulina asked if they would then put it back in me, she explained to her how they prepare blood that is donated for transfusions. A free science lesson!

Happy New Year

2009-01-03T21:11:00.002-06:00

We are hoping to have an awesome year in 2009!

We had some hard times, including loosing the kids beloved grandfather and the most awesome Father in law ever. But we also had some good times. Celebrating my parents in laws 50th annivesary with so many friends and family. Those two sure made a huge impact on a lot of people!

Here is a picture of out countdown (at 10:30 so the younger kids could get to bed-- shhh they thought it was midnight!) You might notice that the part of Wesley normally played by a handsome young man is being played by a pretty girl. Wesley ditched us for a party with his aunt and Amy was glad to step in for him. She spent the night. They did not want to waste a moment of thier limited time together sleeping so they stayed up all night watching all the Lord of the Rings movies, Monty Python and playing guitar hero. This means I also stayed up all night and watched the same movies. I chose to just watch during the guitar hero though. I learned I am getting old! It was a good time though and we look forward to an awesome year.

Christmas day

2008-12-26T14:15:00.002-06:00

We had a wonderful Christmas day. I was not sure how the kids would handle not having a big gift, since the cruise we are going on in January was the big gift. They got things like toothbrushes, toothpaste, shampoo, socks and thier favorite bubble wrap. I found bubble wrap for a dollar a roll so I got them each thier own roll. The call it pop paper and were thrilled. We had a wonderful dinner with Mamaw, Mary and Dottie and Mary even got her gutters cleaned out by the boys. It was a an awesome Christmas.

Only a flesh wound!

2008-12-24T22:57:00.002-06:00

Marceli got a "black knight" from Monty Python. The arms and the legs come off. The cat really enjoyed this!

Oh all right, my son took a picture of me in my new pajamas too. I am busy making everyone hot chocolate and stuff.

Christmas

2008-12-24T22:25:00.004-06:00

It's Christmas Eve, and the kids are off to bed. Not asleep yet, so before I can do anything I have to wait. So I will share some pictures.

New Pajamas! They choose to pose with thier gear in honor of the boys pajamas. Paulina loves hers because they have a cat on them!
.

Dad in his new Grinch pajamas reads christmas stories to the kids. Mom is busy getting hot drinks for everyone. Hot chocolate for some, spiced cider for others and for one hot strawberry milk! Mom also delivered candy canes to stir the drinks and Christmas themed marshmallows to eat or put in in the drinks and pizza and cookies! Marceli and Paulina both shopped at a little store at thier school to buy gifts for everyone.

My new favorite band of Guitar heroes

2008-12-24T16:26:00.002-06:00

My kids favorite gift this year came early. It is from thier grandmother. I let them have it early because they had cousins over for the weekend and I thought they would enjoy playing it with them. Anyway here are some pictures of them having fun.

Sweet little Jesus boy

2008-12-23T15:51:00.002-06:00

Sunday a wonderful man in our church sang "Sweet Little Jesus Boy". He did a great job. My husband also loves that song. I have never been crazy about it. It took me a while to figure out why. I finally figured out my problem with it. I think it misses the point. Other people have told me that it's simple, it's simply a case of how we as mankind would have treated Jesus if we had known it was him. To me however that misses the point of the "least of these". So say we had known, some angel convinced Herod and he had a change of heart like Paul (though even as Saul he was devout in his beleif in God and not a vicious person). Ok so say Mary had been brought to a palace, given silk sheets and the best midwives, etc. The baby wrapped in satin and placed in a golden crib. Would that have made God happy? In my opinion it would not have made God happy, if somewhere else a young girl was giving birth in a barn. If someone was being mistreated. If someone was the victim of gossip or abuse. If anyone was being mistreated, then I don't think it would have helped to treat Christ well. He came to be one of us, not just one of us, but the least of us. He chose to come as a helpless baby. He chose as his mother a young unmarried woman. Her town had a choice to welcome the savior and support this young girl or to gossip and disbeleive her. I think they missed that opportunity. I think she chose to first go to her cousin and then to go to Bethleham with Joseph becuase she was not getting loving care at home. I live in a small town, I know how it is. She was probably looked down on and gossiped about. She was probably called a liar. When Joseph took her side, he was probably not treated much better. Do we really think anyone beleived thier story? They were ordinary people. During Jesus's early childhood they lived in Egypt, where they were foreigners, probablty treated much like illegal aliens are treated here. Joseph may have been accused of taking jobs from Egyption men. Mary probably did not speak the language of some of her neighbors. The culture around them was different. Something happened to Joseph. On the Cross Jesus asked John to look after his mother. His mother would have only been his responsibility as first born if his father had died.

I don't think he came expecting us to treat him how we treat our most important people. I think he wanted to see how we treated our least important people. I think He would have been pleased if we had shown him that we treat even the least important people well, but sadly that was and is not the case. I think the best gift we can give him this season is to treat others, everyone, the way we would have treated him if he had come into our lives and we knew it was Him.

Shiloh and Amy exchange gifts

2008-12-22T22:34:00.002-06:00

Here is the video of Shiloh and Amy exchanging Christmas gifts. They are starting to think alike! They both saved up to do this.

Christmas traditions

2008-12-17T13:30:00.002-06:00

A friend of mine wanted me to blog on our families Christmas traditions.
So I thought I would. My son was the first grandchild on either side. I remember his first Christmas, I was so excited! We were at my in-laws and relatives were all gathered and there was a frenzy of unwrapping and five minutes later it was over. I had no idea who had given him what and he was so overwhelmed he didn't know what to play with first. So most of our traditions are about streaching things out. Also we like to make things the same every year if we can because my oldest loves predictability.

Christmas eve: We usually have a church service to attend (some years we have had several because of someone singing or a living nativity or some other involvement in church)
After that we come home and have a special meal. It has changed over the years. For a while when Angie was in high school we did taco soup because it was her favorite. Then when she grew up and moved out we did frozen pizza because it was Shiloh's favorite. Last year we did an international dinner with foods from all over the world. This year I think we are back to pizza.

After church I give the first gift. Everyone gets one. It's always Pajamas. The kids joke about the fact that it's always the same, but when I mentioned doing it differently they looked sad, so this year it will be pajamas again. I have given up on trying to find mathing ones for everyone though.

After everyone puts on thier new pajamas, we gather in the family room and dad picks up a book from our stack of Christmas books. While he reads I cook. The the youngest child gets the spotlight, that child gets to give out the gifts he or she bought or made. We open one at a time and make a huge deal out of each gift. These gifts are extra special because they are the first. (not counting the pajamas).
Then we read another book, and then it's the next child's turn.
Meanwhile during the books, I make hot chocolate with a candy cane to stir for each child, and then I make cookies. I deliver all of these to them as sit clustered around dad listening to the stories. Our last stories of the night are always "The Night Before Christmas" and The Christmas story from the Bible. Then we leave some cookies for Santa and some milk and the kids go to bed.

When the kids wake up the first thing they do is run to the table. Thier stockings are missing, but Santa has left each a clue. Each clue leads to another and another until the tenth clue leads to the stocking. They bring their stockings to the table, where I bring cinomon rolls and juice. They take thier time going through what's in the stocking and eating breakfast. They usually have candy, some small toys (party favor type stuff) maybe a small gift of some other kinds, sometimes toothbrushes and other useful things.

When everyone is ready we go to the family room. The gifts have been under the tree for a few days usually. There are no names on the gifts just numbers. Mom has the magic chart. Usually the youngest gets the first gift and it goes in order of age through the kids. Sometimes there is a gift for mom or dad that throws the whole thing off so they can't predict it and some gifts are for everybody! (usually a movie or board game). There are usually lots of gifts, but some are funny, some are practical, and the last one is the big real gift. This year one of the gifts will be Bubble wrap, they are each getting thier own roll to pop. It was a dollar a roll in the dollar store! The older boys will get socks, if someone needs shoes or a new back pack or more pencils for school or anything like that they will get it. The younger kids get several dollar store type toys. Anyway, because I number the gifts, they go from the least important to the most. I also sometimes get tricky with wrapping to keep them guessing. large things are usually hidden somewhere else in the house and that gift will be in a small box, it will be a note with a clue as to where the big gift is hidden. This is also done for outside gifts. Anyway, because we do the gifts one at a time, we take much longer to open them all. The smaller toys get played with while waiting. After that we put everything away and get dressed and go to Grandma's house for dinner. So those are our traditions, what are yours?

20/20 show adoptions, disruptions, Russia

2008-11-29T16:08:00.003-06:00

Last night 20/20 aired a show about adoptions. They were following a family who had adopted three children. Two had issues, including RAD, which we too deal with. Since we also adopted from Russia I was interested in the show. On some of the boards and the lists I am a member of, there was a lot of commentary about the parents and the kids and the issues. Some were concerned that it would scare people from adopting older children from orphanages, others were excited to see the issues of RAD brought to the public. Some were supportive of the parents in the show and others were very critical.
Here is a link to the show, and then you can read my comments.

http://abcnews.go.com/2020/story?id=6322100&page=1

OK I just watched it. I had recorded it. I do not think it was that bad at all. A couple of points that have been brought up here and in other places that I wanted to comment on. I do have a child with RAD, and it has been a very rocky ride.The video taping: I have been advised by multiple professionals to videotape certain behaviors including tantrums. There are several reasons. One is to show the professionals what is going on. Another is protection for the parents. Some children hurt themselves and then will blame the parents. I have a child who was refusing to eat and throwing up anything he did eat. He told people he was not fed at home. Doctors were concerned over his weight loss. Luckily he told the doctors and specialists the truth. (at least some of them) and we were in enough situations where his behavior had witnesses, though the worst was always saved for home. I know of a child who bang her face into things during tantrums and then tell teachers her parents punched her. For these people the video tapes were essential. The money thing: People criticized these parents for owning a nice house and then complaining about the cost of the therapies. I heard them talk about using up their savings and their retirement accounts and such. Did it occur to anyone that they had taken out second mortgages on their house and might not be able to sell it? The possibility that if they sold it they would not have enough left to get a place to live? As for them fixing up the kids bedrooms nicely, come on we all wanted to do that when we got kids. I did it too and I knew better. I have since had to pare down what is in my son's room because he could not handle it. Preparation: I had read every book and talked to lots of parents and RAD still shook me. I don't think there is any real way you can be prepared for such behavior. I will say though that I adopted twice and neither agency required any preparation or education. Had I not taken it upon myself to get educated I would have been shocked. Also I had children already. If I had not, I would have had a hard time knowing what was normal and what was not. RAD: Some of the things these kids do seem normal, it the levels and the repetition of it that makes it a problem. For example, every kid breaks some of their toys, but not every kid breaks every single toy they and their siblings own. Every kid tells little lies, but not every kid lies about almost everything, even inconsequential things. Every kid steps on people's toes, but not ever kid steps on family members toes every single time a family member is within three feet of them. Every kid throws tantrums, but every kid doesn't throw tantrums that last for hours on end. Every kid has occasional bathroom accidents, but not every kid has them all the time in different places and on purpose. Anyway, you get the idea.The parents: One of the symptoms of RAD is the parents seem angry and hostile. This is for a number of reasons. You remember the people on the video talking about how they kept it a secret? That's common, who wants to admit you are a failure at parenting? Often these kids are very charming in public and act very sweet, so parents who are doing things like checking the child's pockets or not believing the child or being very strict with the child are seen as crazy parents. The kids are great at convincing relatives that they are being mistreated and causing family strife. I did hear the family in the show mention that they had been alienated from relatives and neighbors. This happens a lot with RAD. Finding help: Easier said than done. I have had a very hard time finding qualified help to help my child. Some therapists were not taking new patients, some were so far away that it would be detrimental to our family and the child's education, not to mention so expensive we could be living in our car! We had one therapist that made things worse. We have had some that was ineffective. We have tried hard to deal with all this and our son is healing, but it's been a rough journey and it's not over yet. Anyway I think they did say that there are lots of happy adoptions and honestly I think it gave hope. The main parents in the story did not disrupt, the ones who did, another family was found. I think it took a lot of guts for those parents to allow their story on TV. As for the lawsuit I don't know enough about it. I did hear them say the agency told them that the girls had been part of a loving family. If the agency knew that this was not true, and if the agency knew about the little boys troubles and even some of his diagnosis, but lied or did not disclose this information then they were wrong. If they did not know this stuff, then I don't think the lawsuit will go anywhere and it's not appropriate. however, as I said, there was not enough information provided.

Beauty from Ashes

2008-11-25T15:45:00.002-06:00

I was running errends today and driving through the country side. I noticed the beautiful colors of the fall leaves. I had to laugh to myself that some people drive all the way to New England to see fall leaves and yet this year, at least in my area we have a wonderful display. The reds, oranges and yellows were so pretty. I got to thinking about how the leaves with the pretty colors are actually dying or dead. Isn't it just like God to take a dying leaf and decorate it so pretty?

Our family has been devestated by the death of my father in law. However, even from that God has drawn beauty. My mother in law was contacted by the newspaper about the accident and was asked if she had any words for the boy who was driving the car. Her message of forgiveness and love was printed and many, many people have been touched by it. God used the death of a wonderful man and the faith of a wonderful woman, to bring beauty from the ashes of a terrible accident.

This week is Thanksgiving, so I am going to look for more ways that God makes beauty from ashes. I hope you will too.

My wonderful in-laws

2008-11-20T13:46:00.002-06:00

Here are the obituary and an article about my father in law's death in the Star-Telegram. Please read my mother in law's remarks at the end of the article. You will agree that I was very blessed to marry into this family. Think I'll start pulling over to answer my cell phone more. Thanks to all for your prayers and support.

William F. "Bill" Fuller Jr.
1925 - 2008
William F. "Bill" Fuller Jr. passed away Sunday, Nov. 16, 2008.Memorial service: 2 p.m. Wednesday in the sanctuary of First United Methodist Church of Fort Worth. His Sunday school class, The Inquirers, will host a reception immediately afterwards in Wesley Hall, where family can greet friends.Memorials: The family requests that, in lieu of flowers, remembrances be made to First Street Methodist Mission, 801 W. First St., Fort Worth, Texas 76102, or a charity of choice.Bill was a lifelong resident of Fort Worth and attended Polytechnic High School. He was a graduate of Texas A&M University in 1946 and engaged in graduate studies at Texas Christian University. He was employed by Texas Electric Service Co. for 44 years and after retirement was affiliated with Fuller Jordan Insurance Co. and W.F. Fuller Investments Inc. He was a 50-year member of the Masonic Lodge of Polytechnic, a Shriner and a registered professional engineer, with memberships in IEEE and TSPE engineering societies.Survivors: His wife, Gaye; daughter, Mary Aileen of Fort Worth; sons, Bill Fuller and wife, Connie, of Geneva, Ill., and Bob Fuller and wife, Lorraine, of Clifton; grandchildren, Shiloh, Wesley, Paulina and Marcel of Clifton and Kathleen, Scott and Brian of Geneva, Ill.; sister, Dorothy L. Fuller of Fort Worth; and several cousins.

Elderly Fort Worth man fatally struck by pickup
BY DEANNA BOYD
dboyd@star-telegram.com
FORT WORTH -- An 83-year-old pedestrian died Sunday evening after he was struck by a pickup whose driver had temporarily looked down to find his cell phone, police officials said.
William Fuller was pronounced dead at 6:14 p.m. at John Peter Smith Hospital. His death has been ruled accidental by the Tarrant County Medical Examiner’s officer.
According to Fort Worth police, Fuller was walking north in the 1600 block of Bradford Place when he was struck by a westbound 2002 Ford F150 pickup.
Police say the pickup’s 20-year-old driver had looked down to find and retrieve his cell phone. By the time he looked back up and saw the pedestrian, he was unable to stop, police said.
The case will be forwarded to the Tarrant County District Attorney’s office to determine if any criminal charges are sought.
Fuller's wife, Gaye Fuller, said her husband had retired about a decade ago from Texas Electric. The couple have three children, seven grandchildren and had just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary this past summer, she said.
Gaye Fuller expressed sympathy for the driver involved.
"I want the young man to know that this was an accident. He should not feel guilty. It was a stupid thing, yes. We all make them but he’s got a life to live and he ought to live it good,” Gaye Fuller said.
“My husband and I both would wish him to put this behind him, make himself more aware than he evidently was, but to have a very happy life.”
DEANNA BOYD, 817-390-7655

A sad day

2008-11-16T22:16:00.008-06:00

Today started out happy. Paulina had spent two nights in a row with friends, So had Wes. This morning Bob and Shiloh got baptised. The second time for them both, but this time they were dunked and it was meaningful to them.

However, the day ended sad. My Father in law passed away unexpectedly. We were very close. The entire family is devestated. My kids Pawpaw, was never too busy to listen to them. When the boys were little he once took them up and down escalators for hours, just because they wanted him to. He loved his wife, and his sister and his children and his grandchildren very much. He smiled every time he saw one of us. He went out of his way to take care of his family. He did this better than anyone I know. He was also about the smartest guy I know. He was a great man who would do anything for his family and leaves a big hole in our hearts.

Teenagers

2008-11-16T22:06:00.003-06:00

I have teenagers in my house. I actually had a practice teenager a few years back when my sister lived with me, but now my boys are teens. We are dealing with learning to drive. Very scary!!! We are dealing with girlfriends. It's interesting to see how a girlfriend can be a good or bad thing. One son has had the same girl friend for quite some time. They are very serious and very close. They really are best friends. Thier relationship has benefitted from thier distance. (they live two hours apart). She encourages him to get good grades and is proud of him for who he is. He will clean the whole house just for a chance to see her. He does not mind too much that they are almost always supervised. The other son has had several girls. His newest went out of her way to steal him from his former girlfriend. None of his are serious and I don't think they have been very good for him.

We are also dealing with extra curricular activities. One son is involved in a few things, the other is involved in tons of things. It sure keeps us busy driving and picking up kids. We are having to learn to budget time as well as money.
My oldest has also just got his first job. He will be working at our local movie theater. It's an hisorical theater. You can read about it here. http://www.cliftextheatre.com/default.htm
I am so proud of my teens. They are great kids and I am blessed.

Why I love living in the country

2008-11-04T14:47:00.002-06:00

There is so much that is good about living in the country. This morning I was able to walk right in and vote, because my polling place is also out in the country! The few people who were there were chatting aimiably about fishing and such.

I love that people wave when they pass each other. I love that if you have a flat, like the one I had last year while driving a van with six kids in it, one in a wheelchair and all tired from school.
I happened to be out of cell phone range and dh was out of town anyway. My son's jumped out of the car ready to fix it. However our jack was missing a part and our lug wrench was missing. (since then this has been rectified) Not only did a man who lived near by come out of his house and start helping, but another man who happened to have a toolbox on his pick up with power tools stopped too. They gently pushed my son's out of the way and took over, though they did take the time to give the boys instructions for next time.

People here chat while in line at the grocery store, or anywhere else. I was mailing a package to a friend's son in the military today and someone commented on it and gave me ideas for next time, since she was mailing a similar package to her son. (her advice for the record was cookies!)

When a house burned down here, the whole town stepped up to help the family. Someone immidiataly paid for the family to stay in a hotel. School happened to be out, the next day, but our church preschool took the three school age children in while the parents did paperwork. They checked my husbands id and called the parents, even though they know my husband before releasing the kids to come out to our house. A friend of mine took the kids shopping and got them clothing and stuff. The mom was in nursing school and friends got her new uniforms and books. Another church had an empty parsonage that they let the family stay in. There were funds started at two different banks in town to help them replace thier belongings. It was amazing how the whole town came together to help them.

When a huirricane hits the coast, it's not unusual to find people who have been evactuated sleeping in churches and homes all over this town. Somehow food and blankets and air mattresses and whatever else is needed appears.

In this town my son in his wheelchair is accepted completely. In his class is another little girl who uses a walker and a boy who is autistic. The entire second grade is very protective of these three kids. They are a part of them.

When I mentioned to our superintendant that there were not van accessable handicapped parking places at the high school and that it would help me out at football games that our family attends to have them. Within in a week, there were two on the visitors side and two on the home side and one at the middle school as well. I mentioned to the elementary principal that we needed another curb cutout in front of the school and guess what? It happened.

Small towns are the way to go.

What is this election teaching our children?

2008-11-02T12:17:00.000-06:00

Just a thought here. I have been working for years to teach my children that it's not OK to call someone names just becuase you disagree with them. I have told them you don't call someone names if they are different, if they have a different skin color, different religion or different opinion. But what are they seeing in the press and in the world right now? They are seeing namecalling.
Let's face it people, regardless of where you stand on the issues, none of the candidates are really stupid or evil. Yet I keep hearing people calling whatever candidate they disagree with stupid and/or evil. I have taught my children that they are to treat those in authority with respect. Teachers, parents, principals, police officers and someday thier employers should be treated with respect whether you agree with them or not. This does not mean you allow them to abuse you, don't get me wrong here. I just don't know what has happened to respect in this world. People steal signs from other people's yards. What does that teach children? I read an article about a nine year old child who was stealing signs from people's yards for his parents. I feel as a parent it's part of my job to teach my children that stealing and trespassing for that matter are wrong. Once every four years people think it's OK to suddenly forget the rules behavior? Just becuase someone is on TV does it mean they are not a real person so it's OK to call them names? What does all this teach our childern? Children are more likely to do what they see you do, than what you tell them. So telling your kids namecalling is wrong, and then doing it to a candidat you disagree with sends a mixed message and guess which message the kid will pick up? Always the one you don't want them to!

My best friend

2008-11-02T11:56:00.000-06:00

My best friend is my husband Bob. He is so awesome. He makes me laugh, he reminds to do things I forget. I am always amazed at what good partners we make and how we compliment each other. He is just about the smartest guy I know! (His dad is up there too!) He is very good looking and I feel I am very, very blessed to have him. He takes great care of me and is very involved in raising the kids. I am very lucky! I am also blessed that he has a family who has accepted me as a part of the family and has shown my kids so much love that they can be confident in who they are, knowing they are loved by thier extended family.

Marceli

2008-11-02T11:40:00.000-06:00

Marceli is my youngest child. He is 8 and in second grade. He was born in Poland. He was born without legs or a left arm, but that does not slow him down. He uses a wheelchair at school, but gets around on his own at home. He is very smart, he learned English super fast. He does have Reactive Attachment disorder, but we are getting help and he has really come a long way and is doing so much better. He is involved in church choir and RA's and baseball. (he plays challanger baseball, which is a special league, his brother Wes is his buddy in it) He is doing UIL story telling at school. He loves to talk and talk and talk. He also loves video games and his big brothers. (he also likes his sister but won't always admit it) he has a thing for little girls with red hair. He keeps us laughing and keeps amazing us. I will add a pic of him in his frodo costume at halloween and some others.

Paulina

2008-11-02T11:22:00.000-06:00

Paulina is my only girl. She is awesome, and I happen to think she is beautiful inside and out. She is in fourth grade. She does not like boys. She likes to say her only boyfriend is Jesus.

She lives for dance. She has two prosthetic legs and she wears them when she does ballet, tap, jazz and hip hop. She does not wear them for clogging or for her freestyle solos. She loves Hannah Montana and cats. She does cheerleading and dancing and RA's and choir. She was born in Russia, but has been in our family since she was just a baby. We love Scottish Rite hospital in Dallas for the care they give her. The pciture in front of the tree is her halloween costume and you can see her at homecoming in her cheer uniform.

I am crazy about her!